Clayton 2007

[JB]

Youtube of fred.

Fred, I was thinking today, if for some reason you don't want your name on youtube let me know and I will remove/change it. Hopefully that link plays the vid better than my connection here at work does.

I just spend 20 minutes watching the related videos....people do some crazy stuff with farm implements.

[JeepPhisherman]

someone drove to Clayton TX????

That's awesome, not as awesome as Fred "Flyin Freddy" Brune, but awesome none the less.

[Seth]

I love jimmys? very distinguishable laugh in the back ground. and fred "oh do i? damn."

I think that last push would have put him over if he had all four tires.

[Seth]

flem passing gas during gift exchange, shupe lossing his pants, cook on fire, me splitting shiner with ax, rowdy getting hit in nuts by flying wood, putting tire back on cook wheel in the dark pouring down rain 50ft from the exit of the park, the Extrta E mf's messing with sasquach, coops id. im sure there's more

Good stuff Clarke. The log splitting was good stuff. If I remember right it was a mawl, not even an ax. Also remembered two more, grayson's quadrasteer demo (crabs included) while going back to the motel from tater hill tavern at what felt like 100 going from shoulder to shoulder. (i remembered that bc I spotted a quadrasteer in front of me on the way home)

Also, fredo's powerslide out of the parking lot that should be a chevy commercial.

[Seth]

oh yeah, and sharpe "dude that was BADASS" at the end of the video that is.

[BMFScout]

First installment, I'll write some more tomorrow. I'm still wiped out from this weekend.

Every year TAMOR’s annual after Finals Christmas Clayton trip gets bigger and bigger and this year was no exception. We had around 50 in our group this year, and it was one helluva time. If you missed out because you thought you had to have a rig, or mommy said you couldn’t go, kick yourself in the butt now.

I, being the gracious brother I am, gave my brother my last vacation day so that he could go up Thursday night to wheel on Friday. Fred and St. John were the first ones on the scene at the A&A and realized it was their duty to consume alcoholic beverages right then and there. Soon others filed in, most wondering how they had driven the last 32 miles to Clayton in such record time. (Rodney moved the “CLAYTON 32” sign 25 or so miles closer than it had been.) Everyone continued partying late into the night but dropped off one by one until only the Fab Four remained. These glorious four realized their level of awesomeness when they saw a Clayton School Bus roll by. They thought “Man that’s weird for a school bus to be out this late…..Oh wait!” St. John, Flem, Rodney and Seth had stayed up long enough that they could now go and get breakfast at the diner across the street (the diner opens at 6 am) before they hit the hay.

The next day everyone hit Green Acres across town for some wheeling. Karl had a full load in the new and improved Klogger, now with FOUR mostly operational doors, somewhat operational brakes and a fully operational heater. Davido was pimping the newly re-motorvated ‘Cruiser. Chris was able to squeeze us in after spending the week in Oklahoma City on official City business and 'wheeled his Zuki buggy. Fred was there in his trusty Scout, Lurch. Cody led the way in his wicked YJ until Rodney woke up from his nap and was able to pilot his ‘yota that afternoon. The always entertaining Creighton was there in his TJ of Death, LED Christmas lights flashing and axleshafts exploding. Clayton made it after going all grand theft auto on his own Cherokee due to leaving the keys in Texas. Cook had to install some belts after throwing them turning donuts in the parking lot of The Sardis. Sharpe rattled down the trail in Pigpen, Tommy beat on his XJ, and a whole host of other TAMOR-ites came out to show what they were made of. Jeff’s Ledges and Green Mamba were among the trails ran on Friday, weather was decent and fun times were had. The pictures were all very cool because there was more water than normal in the creeks.

Friday night brought in some awesome rain from Dallas all the way to Oklahoma. We rolled out of Dallas around 6:30, Jason Kelly and Grayson in the mighty "Quadraqueer 'Burban", the Belle in tow. The Pete and I were in the Hemi-Powered Pick-em-up jamming to the best country the 70's had to offer. While we ate lowly Taco Cabana in McKinney, Jerry began preparations on the greatest Chili anyone has ever eaten. Statements heard by chili eaters were as follows: “It’s like an orgasm in my mouth!” “If this is Chili, what have I been putting on top of hot dogs all these years?!” One unnamed freshman was heard to exclaim, “This chili is so good, I think my balls might have just dropped!” We were slowed by the pouring rain the whole way. We had a crappy trip up there, but not nearly as crappy as Hayden and his buddy that thought Clayton was in Texas and not Oklahoma. They were in for a big surprise when they got to Clayton, TX and called President Clayton to ask where the A&A Motel was only to discover it was on other side of the Red River. When they pulled in a few hours later they asked us if this was the right Clayton. We unpacked a few things then retreated to Shorty's Tater Hill Tavern a few miles down the road to escape the weather. The manager was excited to see us for sure, explained that they had a band tomorrow night and that she would reserve a couple of tables up by the dance floor for us. We drank our weight in 3.2 Keystone then retired to the A&A for a nightcap and to tell some more stories. Thankfully Ed had made reservations 7 months in advance and didn't bother canceling them because I never bothered to make any, so I had a nice warm bed to sleep in, pure Clayton magic.

Saturday morning brought the worst weather I have wheeled in to date. After a balanced breakfast at the Clayton Diner (and oogling the hottest local girl in Clayton) Karl and I made a trip to the Napa/Feed Store for the necessities. (8x10 tarp for a roof and tranny fluid, Karl do you still have my funnel?) BDR and John Cox Fabricated the sweetest tarp bikini top ever while I got the Belle ready to rock. I then laced up my snake boots and “Shocking” driving gloves, then we hit the trail. It was really cold, but I still implemented my “No glass on the trail” motto and removed the windshield. I'm glad the trails are just across town.

We stuffed some money in the cash box out front, aired down and started into the Green Acres property. I could tell it was going to be really slick right off the bat. KT's Climb was the first thing we tried and Cody started us off. Cody was making it, and for the first time ever I heard him actually open that hooker up. It sounded mean! About 50 yards up the hill and climbing several things I thought he would have to winch on because if how wet it was, the winch did finally come out. It looked like it was going to be a lot of winching and no one else was really excited about it so he came back down to find something else everyone else wanted to do. We cruised down this cool creekbed again in more water than I'm used to seeing in Clayton. The next thing to try was an extreme trail called Blacksheep. This seems to be a popular spot for TAMOR because the less extreme trailgoers can attempt the trail next to it called 8-point while the bigger meats can hit up Blacksheep. Our fearless leader Rodney was first to tackle Blacksheep in his bobbed Yota. It took a little bit to get it up and over the gnarly ledge 30 or so yards in, but it did it as it did pretty much everything else that weekend. I think the soul of Busa/Landon's old Yota found it's way into Rodney's. Cody went next and made the same ledge look way too easy. I went next and was making it look really easy until that ledge. I turned into it and just as the front right was about to climb, the pansy little u-joint in my front 44 decided to give up the ghost. I backed back down and watched Mayor McScotti go as well as Davido. Chris made it fine in his flamed Zuki after he got a winch line or two out to assist with the ledge. Davido made it fine and I lost track of them as they went on up the trail, I stayed behind and licked my wounds. I always tell myself to take it easy, but I think I just need to nut up, buy some real axles and hang with the big boys like I'm going to try to do every time anyway.

While we attempted this hill climb, Fred was leading B squad up 8 Point. It was entertaining to see guys that are learning and their driving style. Plenty of advice was flying, and some BS as well. It was slicker than (insert analogy here) and the guys at varying stages of locked axles were digging out the bottom of the trail really well. When the 12 or so rigs got done, that part of the trail was REALLY nasty. Most made it after learning the skinny pedal is sometimes your friend.

When Fred got back to the bottom he jumped in, fired up the impact, and started tearing my axle down as I got the experience of a lifetime. The Krew Kab Klogger and Karl came to my rescue to run me to town to get a spare axleshaft. Riding in this thing is kind of like parachuting, going over Niagra Falls in a Barrel, or eating Sushi in Alabama: everyone should risk life and limb and try it at least once. If Ralph Nader thought the Corvair was unsafe at any speed, I'm sure he would say that the Klogger is lethal at no speed. The ride out of the land was rough but fairly uneventful, laughed so hard I thought I might pass out but that might have been the carbon monoxide coursing through my veins. Into town, grab the shaft for my Scout and for Sharpe's rig and back out to the trails for more fun. We get about halfway there when Karl hits the brakes and NOTHING happens. We get her stopped and investigate. The reservoir is bone dry but we don't see why right away. Of course he has no brake fluid, and after we convince him that putting tranny fluid in the reservoir would be a very bad idea, we cruise back to town in low range hoping no children or puppies are present. We "stop" across the street from one of the two gas stations in town and get supplies. Sharpe buys his second NOS energy drink of the day and chugs it down. He says, “I got ten hours of sleep last night, yet I still feel compelled to drink this because it's awesome. I think I might have a problem.” Admitting your addiction is the first step, I'm proud of the guy, but he still needs to seek professional help. We find the offending line, the front left brake line that is original to the vehicle is severed in half. A quick vice grip and some “Karl welding” with zip ties and we're back on the road, as safe as this thing gets. I have now re-dubbed the Klogger the "Nitro Express."

As we pull back up to the scene at Green Acres Fred has had my Scout tore down for 30 minutes or more waiting on us. It is dumping Sleet/Rain on us at this point. I go all NASCAR pit crew on the Belle and we're ready to break stuff again. What happened next will go down in the annals of TAMOR history with the likes of the Flying Bronco and Garner's 4th Place Chili. Fred has decided that he wants to make another charge up 8 point now that it is all dug out and really slippery. I say that sounds like an awesome idea and I tell him I'm going to do so as well. Someone decides that a race to the top is a fantastic idea.

Fred had already proclaimed that this run up the hill was not going to be like Bob Barker would have you play the golf game. “Nice and easy” are not words I would use to describe the way he wheels. I had also decided that the skinny pedal was going to get abused on my attempt. I'm not sure who came up with the idea, but before I knew what happened we were standing next to the creek at the bottom of the hill yelling at each other like white trash and hammering out the “terms” of our speed contest, in the style of the show Pinks. It was determined that the winner didn't want anyone else's piece of crap even if they did win, and that CJ had to take the air hose out of the NOS drink bottle zip tied to his rollcage. The terms of the race were determined, Grayson starting us off, rear wheels in the water of the creek. Clarke was at the top of the hill running the official clock. The four contestants were Fred, me, Creighton, and CJ in that order.

Fred started us off, wheels in the creek, engine revving, hammer wielding gnome in the crankcase REALLY pissed. Grayson drops his arms and Lurch does just that off the starting line. Fred's got his foot in it, and I keep thinking any minute now he is going to let off the throttle before he gets to the dug out ledge section at the bottom of the trail. I was dead wrong. There was a quote on a binder board a while back that went something like, “If God had intended Scouts to fly, he wouldn't have given them 750 lb. small blocks.” I agree with the man upstairs on this one. The flight was short lived, and quite unbelievable to me at the time. Lurch launched just before the obstacle sending all four tires into the air for half a second. Touchdown occurred as Fred hit the obstacle sending Lurch immediately back in the air, hard to the right. I thought for sure it was going to flop. The front shocks must have thought Fred was crazy as well, they wanted the hell out of there and one was successful in his escape. EVERYTHING in the bed, air hose, spare tire, pop tarts, etc “Yard Sale'd” out of the back of the bed and down the trail. A baseball sized dent we would later discover in the left rear was the reason for the severe debeading that occurred. A sane rational man would at this point take his DNF and watched the other competitors. Fred W. Brune is not that man. It was like he was pissed he didn't clear the obstacle on the first jump. He was still hammer down, none of us could believe it. Grayson danced around like a 12 year old school girl, arms flailing about and laughing uncontrollably. This went on for what seemed like minutes, I started to fear that he had hit his head on the rollcage again and didn't know what he was doing. Soon we convinced him that his left rear tire was, “History” and that he needed to concede defeat. He obliged, fired up the OBA and we made some hasty repairs to Lurch so that he could make it back to the safety of the A&A.

I went next, I took the “Slower is faster” approach after seeing Fred annihilate his truck. I made it to the top, but minus the fanfare that Fred had demonstrated. Creighton was up next and if he hadn't missed a shift he would have won hands down. Once he found the gear he was looking for halfway up the hill he was grabbing gears and laying down tracks. CJ had the fastest time and never shifted. I thought he was going to send a piston through the hood for sure. He screamed through the upper gate a half second within Creighton and myself. We called it a draw, but gave Fred the win on style points alone. It will definitely be a new tradition at the December run.

We all called it a day, and headed back to the A&A to regroup and head out to make our reservations at the Clayton Country Inn. We originally made reservations for 15 at 7:00, then amended that for 20 at 6:00, only to show up with 28. I know they have a love hate relationship with us, but we most certainly sold out their restaurant. We sang Happy Birthday to Fred since his Birthday always falls on the Clayton weekend.


Feel free to add things I missed thus far I'm going to go back and edit/add more later. I got a little carried away, but seriously this is me we're talking about...

[agjohn02]

i made it into the trip report!


this is why jimmy was the best PR guy ever to grace TAMOR. he even got me to go to a meeting during his reign.

[BMFScout]

he even got me to go to a meeting during his reign.

Sorry guys!

[jerryg79]

Good write-up.

But I think the klogger lead the charge up and down 8-point the first time, in a very unklogger-like fashion.

[Fredo]

Yeah, I was running tailgunner for that group that went on 8-point. It was klogger, then tommy, then the kid in the TJ (sorry I can't remember your name) and then me. We went on an ran the trail while the rest of the group messed with that nasty ledge. It was on the return trip that we had to get around them to go assist with the belle's repair. Subsequently, this was the traffic jam that resulted in Karl and Clayton exchanging insurances.

[Graystroke]

well I thought we were gonna live up to its name and klog the trail

[BMFScout]

we need a video of Flem doing his new dance to put on youtube.

[texasxj]

Clayton Carnage List:

Me: window, bent tie rod, and rear bumper
Clayton: body damage
Scotti: rear axle shaft
Jimmy: front axle shaft
Creighton: 2 front axle shafts
Karl: brake hose, blinker lens
Fred: front shocks, bent wheel
Sharpe: stub shaft u-joint
Cook: leaf spring center pin, debeaded tires
black xj dude: broken tie rod

and more body damage

anybody else?

Let me add that I had no self inflicted body damage except for a couple of paint slides. The major damage was done by Karl!!!!

[KrazyKarl02]

uhh... sorry bout that... Side note anyone know how to get brown paint off of a Ford?

[Graystroke]

rub it on a tree